Sunrise is the best time for greeting the day
although I rarely see it—
All in Personal Reflections
Affirmation
For a good part of my life, I was dependent on external validation for my self worth. This put me at the mercy of others’ opinions, words, and judgments. It often left me trying to please people to gain their favor, at the expense of my own needs and desires.
When I was ten years old, I came home from school to find dead kittens strewn across the lawn.
People have been talking with me recently about the joys and challenges of parenting adult children. It requires a different approach from when they were younger. However, it’s not completely dissimilar, if our goal is to help them be confident, independent and self-sufficient.
In the case of my memoir, it means I need to approach all of my characters and situations from a standpoint of love and compassion. It also means to love the process of writing, uncovering, discovering. Love doesn’t always mean enjoy, it can mean accepting people and things as they are/where they are. How will I know the light shines through? Because the story will flow, it will be alive, it will make sense. How do I write with love? Consciously, with intention, a softening that allows me to access my heart, not just my mental memories. Perhaps as Thich Nhat Hanh says, balancing the Buddha, artist and warrior aspects of self to engage with the project….
I am a writer….
Well, not professionally.
I am a writer….
Not really, I’m a former banker writing a memoir.
I am a writer…
It’s true, I love to write and always have. I’ve written poetry, essays, papers all my life, and now scenes, dialogue and characters.
I am a writer…
A million stars live beneath my eyelids
Dancing in microscopic colors
Joyously erratic
Oblivious to being seen or unseen
Simply alive and
Intent on moving
Imagine having such confidence that we could listen to an alternative point of view without having to interrupt or correct
Imagine having such confidence that we could trust our own assessment of a situation and not wait for someone else’s validation
Imagine having such confidence that we could share our difficult feelings without harming the one causing those feelings
From isolation to celebration:
Postponed weddings joyfully
Wedged between Delta and Omicron.
Fortunate to have
Family and friends—
Love begets love.
This way forward, say the Wise Ones, beckoning. Love that wounded child and embrace her with compassion, non judgment and forgiveness... that is how you will find your own wisdom and learn to care for the world….
If only I had had an instruction manual,
I might not have tobogganed into that split rail fence on a cold snowy day,
Forgetting to duck and hurting my eyes
If only I had had an instruction manual,
I might not have jumped that fence at dusk on a warm summer evening,
Scaring the dogs and getting bitten…
Sometimes in the night
I am frightened
My old friend
The Monitor
Returns…